


Patterned Mosaics Under Broken Dreams

by XtaticPearl



Series: Don't Call Me Mom (Unless You're My Family) [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Avengers Feels, Avengers Movie Night, Bad Decisions, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Cuddle Pile, Dancing and Singing, Domestic Avengers, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Hugs, Late Night Conversations, Lullabies, M/M, Natasha Needs a Hug, Nightmares, Nonverbal Communication, Pietro Maximoff Feels, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Avengers, Sam Wilson Feels, Sleepy Cuddles, Stargazing, Steve Rogers Feels, Technology, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Vision Needs A Hug, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7291168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is practically an expert on nightmares. He has been dealing with them for a long time now and has had time to control his reactions to them. This didn't extend to the other Avengers though, who had their own specific horrors that trapped them in their sleep. It was a natural decision for Tony to be the one to see them through such times. If only he made sure that they knew about this too, because sometimes taking care of your family could mean damaging yourself. In the end, it falls on the team to see through this and hope to bring Tony out of his own horrors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Patterned Mosaics Under Broken Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I took the canon fact that Tony couldn't sleep because of his portal nightmares and turned it into this, because he probably knows more about guilt, nightmares, sleepless nights and self-blame than anybody else on the team (okay, maybe Steve comes close). This wasn't intended at whumping Tony but then my muse ran off with my brain and I had to fight it to make this fic seem plausible.

Steve was absolutely positive that Tony had some sort of a deal with their carpenter and mattress suppliers, because this was probably the 50th bed they were breaking.

"Weneedtnvibrnm" Steve heard Tony mutter from the middle of the broken bed, squished between the mattress and the cushioned headboard that had fallen onto him. Steve shot the tuft of dark hair a look, even though Tony couldn't see him, and carefully lifted the headboard off the man. Tony didn't move and when Steve crouched on the floor, worried that his lover had been hurt, the genius looked up with a cheeky grin.

Steve opened his mouth and then closed it with a huff that came off more fond than exasperated. Tony had pillow feathers on his head, sticking out from his mussed up hair, and a small scratch on his forehead from where he had bumped into the fallen headboard in panic. Steve would have panicked himself if Tony wasn't grinning like a maniac right now, eyes alight with mischief more than horror.

"What did you say?" Steve asked as he stood up, buck naked, and held out a hand for Tony to get up from the mess. Tony  _chuckled_ at Steve's dick when he noticed that it was still hard and Steve simply rolled his eyes but pulled up the genius when he caught his hand.

"We need it in vibranium," Tony repeated, hopping out from the absolute disaster of the broken bed, immediately bringing Steve closer by the hip, "The bed I meant, not your dick. Grant is perfect, aren't you boy?" Tony cooed down at Steve's dick and Steve whacked him on the shoulder.

"Don't name my penis, Tony," he sighed but slipped an arm around Tony's waist as both of them took in the mess they had made, "God, I told you we should have taken it slow."

"I like naming your dick,  _Steven_ ," Tony sniffed, "He's _my_ Grant. Geddit? Grant grants all my wishes. And please, like going slow would have helped after a while. It's  _hard_ when you're in the throes of passion and you have the need to -"

"Okay, okay, fine," Steve snorted as Tony waxed poetic about the latest pose they had been trying, pinching his ass in chiding, "Also, Grant's my middle name. I think my mom meant it after something important. You're basically fucking my middle name, Tony."

"Like I care," Tony scoffed with a wink that had Steve rolling his eyes again, "Come on, I've got feathers all over my head and a big, beautiful shower has our name on it. Literally has it, I mean I am  _so glad_ that you left that part of the room to name for me, Steve, really. All the other parts where you have your things kept are  _named and labelled_ after you, so it's only right that - hey, what, stop trying to push me like a trolley, goddammit!"

Steve, to his credit, only raised an eyebrow before turning around and grabbing Tony by the waist and throwing him onto his shoulder. Which made Tony clutch Steve's pecs and then his waist, now being sack-carried rather than pushed. Tony considered scowling before thought better and spent the few seconds till they reached the shower talking to Grant instead of Steve. They didn't bother with trying to salvage the bed or the mattress after the shower and instead decided to go to Tony's room to sleep. 

They hadn't used Tony's room for quite some time, mostly because Tony preferred sleeping in Steve's room and Steve felt more comfortable in the customized atmosphere he had there. Which was probably a small reason why it happened.

At first Tony simply grunted and vaguely swatted at Steve's hands when the guy's cuddling arms tightened around him. Both of them were tired and for once Tony was actually sleepy, and he liked a little space when they slept, so he wasn't feeling guilty in mumbling at Steve to move a bit. Steve seemed to have understood and Tony found him shuffling a bit, still cuddling but with a bit of space between them so that Tony could breathe. The second time it happened, Tony was too far gone into his sleep to do anything but make a disgruntled noise. The third time, he felt himself waking up to a bone-crunching pain in his middle. He opened his mouth to scream but the sound got cut off when he realized that this was Steve.

Steve, who was having a nightmare, and was simply holding Tony. With all of his strength. That could break Tony in half anytime soon.

Tony had long destroyed his Legion suits which were programmed to answer at any sense of distress and for that he was really thankful to Pepper, because if one of them came now, it was more likely that there would be bloodshed here instead of just a robot's destruction. He tried breathing in and tapping at Steve's hand because every time he made a noise it seemed like Steve was clutching harder. 

"Boss, should I -" Tony cut off Friday's worried voice with a sharp motion and hiss of command because he  _knew_ what would happen if Steve woke up like this. He had to try something himself, Tony thought in pain as Steve's hands were squeezing the ever loving life out of him.

"Steve? Steve, honey, it's okay," he tried in a calm voice, biting back a wince when he was sure that some bone must have broken, "Steve, come on, you need to relax. It's okay, it's just a dream. Baby, come on. Hey, Steve? Steve, sweetheart, you need to calm down.."

He tries to gently pry Steve's arms off but quickly stops when Steve whimpers and the proceeds to crush him again. It takes a long time, in Tony's mind, for constant and calm whispers for Steve to relax and loosen his grip. The minute Tony finds some breathing space, he rolls over, turning to face Steve, still in his arms. His ribs hurt like hell but he has to do this quickly before Steve wakes up. He thanks Clint for his taste in TV when he uses the cheesy  _hug and roll_ trick from FRIENDS, to make sure that Steve is on the other side of the bed. Steve makes a noise in the process but Tony rubs his hand over his arm and back which instantly soothes the man. Once he was sure that Steve was asleep, Tony quickly got up, biting back curses of pain and rushed to the bathroom. 

"Fri, quick scan, any broken bones?" he wheezed as he clutched the basin sides and peered at himself in the mirror. He was shaking, that much was evident. He had never hated or been thankful for his habit of wearing a vest to sleep when he slowly peeled it up and saw -

Yup, bruised like a peach. How fascinating.

"No broken bones, Boss," Friday replied quietly, "but maybe you should -"

"Yep, nope, I got hugged by a not-so grizzly bear that's all," Tony quipped and took a deep breath, "I literally got hugged to almost death, didn't I?"

"It would appear so, Boss," Friday replied dryly and Tony  _giggled_ hysterically before he bit back another bout of laughter. Nope, laughing will not solve this problem, he thought to himself about a hundred times like a tedious chant till he calmed down. Okay, so Steve had a nightmare and Tony is a puny human who can be hugged to death. Basic facts. Yep, keeping it simple. 

"Hey, Fri? Privacy mode," he calls out coolly, peeling off his vest and walking towards the shower, "And lock the incident in the confidential server. No letting out Daddy's secrets to Steve, alright?"

"Yes,  _Daddy_ ," the AI replied after a minute and Tony took a minute to feel proud of his baby AI learning sass, before slipping back to take his second shower of the night. He kept himself calm through it by humming  _Jailbreak_ under his breath and when he was done, quietly got out, dried himself, put on another black vest, and crawled back into bed.

The next morning, Steve didn't remember what had happened and Tony kept it that way, even though Friday gave him pointed silences before replies to many questions. It was just a nightmare, he reasoned, and Steve had taken care of him during  _his_ nightmares a couple of times. The thought of Steve's nightmares grew over the couple of days and Tony began noticing that all the other Avengers also showed the after-effects of nightmares. He thought about that for some days, the way Bucky would brood into his coffee the morning after one, the way Bruce would be a recluse for an entire day when he had one, the way Pietro behaved erratically after his nightmares, and so on. Everyone seemed to have them and Tony knew that he didn't have them anymore. Not much anyway, not to the level he had before they had all come in. 

That was how he came to the conclusion that he was the only one left to help the others through their nightmares. Friday, if he had given her a human form, would have banged her head against the workshop table repeatedly when he had announced the same to her and had begun his Project Phobetor or ProPho.

*************

Sam was used to being the pacifier for a long time. It was in his nature, one of his ex-colleagues had said when he had played therapist to Riley during their training days, it was in Sam's nature to be a calm-inducing phenomena. He had the brains, the voice, the empathy and the patience to do it. That was how he rebuilt his life after Riley, focusing all his energy into helping people out as a VA. His class at DC had been therapeutic for himself, hearing others talk about their problems reminding him that he was not alone, that he could still help others even if he hadn't been able to help Riley. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he blinked his eyes to focus on the milk on the stove. He shut the stove when the milk was done and pulled out his favorite mug from the shelf. He got the sugar tin down from another shelf and added an adequate amount to the cup before putting it back. Swallowing the lump in his throat and steadying his hands, he poured the milk into the cup slowly. Warm milk helped, he knew that, it always helped in sleeping better. 

But when he had these nights, the times when he could feel Riley falls through his hands, could see his green eyes widening in fear and feel his last scream choke through Sam's own throat - on these nights he couldn't really go back to sleep. All he could do was try to stop the shaking of his hands and let himself breathe. He took the first sip of the warm milk and closed his eyes, breathing in the warmth. He just wished he had some distraction, some way to block his brain from thinking on that line.

"Mr. Wilson?" Friday's voice came through softly and Sam blinked before lowering his mug and listening, "I have a request from Boss."

"Tony's awake?" Sam frowned, knowing that the guy sometimes didn't sleep well but Steve usually got him to bed some way or another, "Where's he?"

"In the 'shop"

Sam frowned harder at that and placed the mug down.

"Steve's not with him?"

"Captain was called for a personal matter to Brooklyn about an hour back, sir," the AI paused before continuing, "Tony has not been working for long. He slipped into the workshop only an hour ago and according to my estimates, the Captain will come back tomorrow."

Sam wondered how nobody had noticed or heard about the Brooklyn matter and then chalked it up to the late night timing.

"What's the request, Fri?"

"He would like you to come down to the workshop, if you aren't otherwise occupied."

Sam paused at that and looked down at his mug of milk. He knew that he wasn't going to feel all that better even after this and Tony's request had piqued his interest. 

"Ask him if he needs anything to drink?" he asked Friday and waited for the response.

"He says he'll have what you're having," the AI responded with almost an amused tilt to her voice. Sam chuckled at that and nodded, going about preparing another mug of warm milk before he carried both of them down to the workshop.

"Hey, Tony," he called out with an amused smirk when he found the genius looming over some toy, frowning at it, "You rang?"

Tony turned around and grinned at Sam, scrunching his nose at the milk he was offered before shrugging and gesturing for Sam to sit.

"Hey, sorry, did I wake you?" Tony asked cheerfully. Sam would have noticed the a strangely knowing look that flashed Tony's face but he was too distracted by the toy to simply shake his head, "Nah, was just up for some midnight snack. What  _is_ this?"

Tony grins widely at that and almost spills his milk before setting it down and pointing at the machine with a flourish.

" _This_ is your new friend," he said with a dramatic pause and Sam looked blankly between him and the toy.

"My friend," he echoed in confusion and Tony nodded once.

"Yep, this is Redwing," he said with a smirk before shrugging, "I mean, he's not as cool as the suit or anything and he definitely can't sass back at you, though on second thoughts your sassing capacity isn't all that great, not to my level at least -"

"Tony, is this a weapon?" Sam cut him short, ignoring the slight at his sassing capacity because he knew better than to indulge in a snarking match at this time, with a rambling Tony.

"Uh, no," Tony frowned and reached over the table to snag a pair of red glasses that he passed on to Sam, "He's not a weapon. He's your friend. I thought I just said that?"

Sam looked at the glasses and shot Tony a confused look.

"You're not speaking human," he informed coolly, turning the glasses over between his fingers, "You're speaking tech again."

"Ah, right," Tony waved his had dismissively before gesturing Sam to wear the glasses, "Redwing is an AI based companion. To your existing suit. You know, so that you have your own AI too."

Sam blinked at Tony and opened his mouth before thinking better and putting on the glasses.

"What do I do now?"

Tony guided him through the mechanics and Sam obliged, feeling the sides of the glass for the controls. He pressed the right one and watched as the  _toy_...came alive.

"Holy shit," Sam breathed as his glasses began working as a HUD of sorts and he saw the toy...Redwing float up in the air, "Dude, tell me more!"

If Sam could have taken his eyes off Redwing, he would have noticed Tony relaxing and smiling a bit at him before he launched into an explanation of what Redwing could do. Since Sam wasn't Clint, who only focused on the end results of his arrow upgrades, Tony got to keep Sam in the 'shop for more than two hours, both of them bantering, arguing and discussing the possibilities of the new teach.

By the time they were done, Tony could see Sam looking calmer and happier than he had when he had come down. He watched as Sam shook his hand more exuberantly than ever and left the 'shop still wearing the glasses and now  _talking_ to Redwing. Shaking his head, he opened up a file on the screen.

"Fri, step one successful for Sam," he commented with a satisfied grin, "I think he'll have a better distraction now than...milk. What do you think?"

"Good job, Boss," Friday's warm approval makes Tony chuckle as he closes the file and gets back up on his feet. If he stayed here any longer, he'd probably fall asleep here and then Steve would find out. Which would lead to less happy times.

Tony might be concerned about his family but that really didn't mean he was going to risk his own love life, he thought with a laugh and made his way back up to his penthouse.

**************

Tony found Vision staring at the dark New York sky on the roof at 1 a.m. Again. By Tony's data, this was the seventh time in two weeks.

Friday had alerted him to it through his watch and Tony had been able to slip out of Steve's sleepy embrace quietly because of that thoughtfulness. Now, as he stood at the entrance of the roof, he watched the synthezoid gazing at the sky blankly, arms at the back and head tilted to one side. Tony was almost tempted to compare him to a child before he stopped that thought. He was definitely not ready for that train of thought. Shuddering quietly, he cleared his throat loudly, catching Vision's attention.

"Waiting for something, buddy?" he asked quietly, looking up and noting the dark expanse devoid of stars, "A meteor, UFo, some alien friends coming to visit us?"

Vision doesn't smile and simply turns his head to look at Tony calmly. Some days Tony wonders if the guy  _can_ smile, if it runs in his mind that happiness is an amotion or that funny things should be laughed at. Then Tony wonders if it is because Vision lacks a funny bone, which is a really bad pun and says a lot about Tony's sense of humor. 

"Did you need me for something, Mr. Stark?" Tony blinks and finds that Vision is actually talking to him.

"Huh? No, nope, just came by and saw you here," Tony clarified, thankful that Vision wasn't calling him out on his lie, "So, what's up? Apart from the deep, dark sky."

Vision looks back at the sky and Tony has to wait for a few minutes of painful silence before the conversation resumes.

"Wanda..." Vision began and paused before continuing, "Wanda was telling me about her country."

Tony frowns a bit but doesn't push, letting Vision parse his thoughts.

"She spoke of the things she missed the most and the things she remembers," the synthezoid continued, "She mentioned about the stars of Sokovia."

"Are you...Vision, are you looking for the stars?"

"It seems a bit...lonely without them, doesn't it?" Vision asked in response, "The sky? It seems incomplete without the stars."

Tony knew that synthezoids did not have nightmares. At least he had hoped they didn't. Looking at Vision now though, he had to think back to the first time Wanda had described seeing him and reading his dreams. Dreams, Tony thought seriously, if Vision could have dreams then he could also have nightmares, right? After all, he had killed his kin the day he was  _born_. Ultron had been Vision's base creator and even if they weren't human, it must have meant something to Vision.

"Hey Vision?" Tony called out after thinking for a moment, "Wanna see something amazing?"

Vision simply looked back at Tony quietly before nodding and following him out of the roof. They walked back down to Tony's floor, where Tony told Vision to wait for a minute and went into his room. He came out after a couple of minutes, a small box in hand and gestured for Vision to follow again. They landed up in Vision's room when Tony finally stopped leading and told Vision to sit on his bed.

"This is for you," he said simply and handed him the box. Vision blinked at it and mentioned a perfunctionary thanks before opening the box. He carefully clicked it open and stared at the small watch-dial like object.

"Is this a spare part for a watch?" he asked curiously and Tony's face turned purple for a minute before he burst out laughing and shook his head.

"God - wow, that's funny enough. No, Vision, it's not a spare part. Here, press this," Tony gestured to a tiny white button on the dial and Vision did as asked watching as bright blue light shone from the device, shining on the ceiling.

He blinked a couple of times and then, for the first time, Tony saw Vision's blue eyes widen a bit. The stars projected on the ceiling reflected on his red synthetic body and mirrored the brightness of his eyes. Tony watched with amusement as the guy reverently gazed around for a whole minute, drinking in the sight.

"The stars," he whispered and Tony felt the whole child comparison coming up again, but this time swallowed it down and nodded.

"Yep, projected vision of the stars, quite artificial really, but yeah, same concept," Tony shrugged and grinned when Vision took his eyes off the ceiling to smile at him.

"Thank you, Tony," he said quietly, reminding Tony of the two Jarvises of his life. He simply nodded in reply before bidding Vision good-night and leaving. As he left the room, his last visual was of Vision reaching out a hand and trying to catch a star.

Yep, child comparison coming right up.

"Hey, Fri? Put a tick against Vision's column too, would you honey?" he whispered to his AI.

"Done, Boss," Friday replied after a minute before adding, "Anything else, Tony?"

"Nah, gonna get back to my resident star now," he said with a laugh as he trudged back up to Steve's room, feeling happier than before.

Vision might not be a kid but he was still Tony's responsibility. JARVIS would have been proud, Tony thought to himself as he let himself into Steve's bedroom quietly, padding over to their bed.

*************

Pietro and Clint were huddled in the common floor, staring balefully at the TV screen when Tony came down at 2 in the morning. He knew why they were here but didn't act like it, ignoring them and fixing himself a big bowl of chocolate popcorn and two huge mugs of hot chocolate.

"Your doctor will kill you for not following his advice," Clint commented without turning around and Tony didn't reply till he came around the couch and sat bossily between the two, jostling them purposely till they gave him some space.

"My doctor is also my best friend and has specifically told me that he isn't that kind of a doctor about a million times," Tony retorted calmly, placing the bowl of popcorn on his own lap and the mugs on the table before them, "Also, you two are involved in this, so if anybody is going to get screamed at, it's going to be all three of us. Get your feet off my table, Barton you heathen."

"Shut up, Stark, Nemo's mom is dying," Pietro muttered from underneath his blanket and Tony shot him a side-look before shrugging and stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"Why're we watching  _Finding Nemo_?" he asked when finally Clint stole one mug of hot chocolate like he had expected.

"Because" Clint muttered in reply and went on to sip on his drink, leaving the explanation to the single word.

"Right, good reason," Tony nodded like it was a perfectly sane response before going silent, watching the movie himself. He was distinctly aware of Pietro's eyes going to the other mug of hot chocolate and started a mental countdown to the time he would lose his resolve and just drink it.

When the guy picked up the mug at Tony's 3, the genius hid his smile behind a handful of popcorn.

"When's your boytoy coming back?" Clint asked after a while and Tony didn't rise to the bait. He knew how Clint got after a nightmare. He had enough experience of it after Loki's appearance itself and now, after so many more additions, he knew that the archer's thirst for a fight only got worse. 

"Steve's coming back in two day. Given Tasha's annoyance for swampy places, maybe they'll make it back sooner. It's just a recon after all," Tony replied and left it at that.

Clint scoffed into his mug but Tony ignored him and moved his own popcorn bowl to the right casually, making it look like it was natural. He knew that Pietro would snag some in a couple of minutes, which he did. They didn't speak much throughout the movie and no one got up to put the mugs or bowl back in the kitchen. 

By the time Nemo learnt of his dad coming to rescue him, Pietro had inched closer to Tony and was valiantly trying not to doze off on his shoulder. Clint on the other hand had put up his feet on Tony's lap, eyes challenging him to say something. Tony didn't say anything but did make a show of scrunching up his nose like the archer's feet stank. Between Dory telling the captured fish to keep swimming and Nemo re-uniting with his dad, Tony had a drooling Pietro sleeping on his shoulder and a sleepy Clint resting his head on the couch's arm.

"Tired," Clint murmured as he tried to keep his eyes open and Tony gently massaged the socked feet on his lap.

"Sleep," he replied softly, completely unnatural to anyone who hadn't seen or known Tony very well. Clint must have been really tired because he simply muttered a half-hearted snark before doing as told. 

Tony doesn't pull blankets over both of them but he doesn't get up from the couch either, resting his head over Pietro's and going to sleep himself. 

In the morning, all three of them have horrible cricks in the necks and Bucky looks suspiciously between them when he comes in for his coffee, but Tony simply winks salaciously and the soldier accepts the snark with a snort. Neither Pietro nor Clint speak about it but they do quietly accept the tradition of movie nights whenever Tony joins them after that.

Somehow that turns into an Avengers movie night tradition and everyone joins them, not knowing the reason behind it but liking it just the same. As they watch  _Raiders of the Lost Ark_ a week later, Tony's eyes meet Clint's and he sees the archer offer him a small nod.

He simply shrugs with a smile in response and leans back into Steve's arm, making a note to add this to his file even as he teases Steve with wrong explanations of the movie.

***********

Natasha is extremely perspective. Tony knew that. Everybody knew that. Anybody who didn't know that was probably already dead. Any attempt to be sneaky with her would only result in Russian threats or some really embarrassing revenge later, even if the intention was good.

Which is why Tony chooses to make the situation about him.

"It'll help me strengthen my resistance, " he tells her as he pushes the vodka bottle her way and pours himself a shot of lime juice instead, "If I can resist drinking with you drinking right before me, then I'll have better control."

Tony is sure that she doesn't believe him in the few moments she stares between him and the bottle. He resists a sigh of relief when she finally unscrews her bottle and pours herself a shot.

It's unhealthy, he knows it. But he also knows that Natasha is strong enough to get over the hang-over. It is the nightmare's aftermath that she has difficulties with. He matches her lime juice to vodka with every shot and learns a harsh sounding Russian song from her after the fifth shot.

They end up singing  _and_ dancing somewhere between shot 10 and 13, Natasha hitting Tony every time he makes a wrong turn and Tony swearing at her in bad Russian which makes her smile in glee. He thinks that his mom would have liked her; she had always wanted a daughter too. He doesn't dare say it out loud though and tries to convert their slow dance into a swing dance that surprisingly Natasha goes along with.

When Steve comes down, bleary eyed and bedhead, he finds Tony pushing a cushion under Natasha's head on the couch. Tony simply shakes his head at the questioning look and then diverts Steve's attention with his whining about the next day's meetings.

Friday adds the success to the file without prompting.

************

Bruce finds himself sleeping in Tony's workshop one morning with a note in front of him attached to a mug of tea.

_Had fun with the big guy last night. He sure knows his lullabies well. Thanks._

_Tony_

_P.S: You owe me coffee for this tea._

He doesn't remember what happened but feels refreshed and calm, like he had slept through the entire night well. Even the Other Guy is quiet inside. 

When he goes up for breakfast, Tony pats him on the shoulder and tells him to help with an invention later.

A week after that, Hulk owns two pairs of stretchable and comfortable Hulk Pants and strangely, an entire collection of glass figurines. Bruce doesn't figure it out but it does help him feel calmer.

Tony watches a video of Hulk petting his head as he sang Natasha's lullaby to him in the workshop sometimes. Friday has an added success in her files.

**************

"I wanna fly," Bucky says sadly when Tony finds him wedged between the bed and the bedside table of his room one night, "I wanna get away from everyone and just...fly away somewhere. Where nobody can catch me."

Tony looks at him intently for a minute before walking out. It takes him five minutes to get his suit and come back, seeing Bucky's head buried in his arms.

"Let's go" he says simply and Bucky's haunted eyes snap up to meet the blue slits of the Iron Man suit. He stares at him for a couple of minutes before slowly getting up and following Tony out.

They fly in circles around the Tower, over it, sometimes taking laps of the street's lengths. Bucky has problems finding his grip at first and Tony almost has his shoulder plate crushed between metal fingers. After the third try though, Bucky looks less like he is going to throw up and more like he wants to capture the moment. Tony doesn't say a word and keeps flying till Bucky lets out his first startled laugh.

Tony makes a sharp dive and a twirl, pushing that laugh into another, this time more confident. 

"Faster! Come on, push it!" Bucky demands after a while and Tony takes a glance to see the hunted look replaced by a child-like glee now. He grins inside his face-plate and whooshes through the air, laughing with Bucky till Steve comes up to the roof, yelling for five solid minutes before sighing and chuckling as Bucky blows him raspberries from the air.

"You're a menace. Both of you," Steve informs them when they finally land but his eyes and voice is fond. Bucky winks at Steve and raps his knuckles once at Tony's helmet before rushing back inside, his adrenaline pumped up.

"Something's going on," Steve says quietly as Tony watches Bucky go. When the genius looks at him, Steve smiles softly, "You're doing something, I know it."

"Uh-uh? What?" Tony blinks innocently.

"Dunno, but I'll find out," Steve says with a shake of his head, leaning into the kiss that Tony lays on him, "See if I don't."

"All my secrets are yours, darling," Tony whispers against Steve's smiling lips, "I'm your open book."

Friday doesn't bother offering information to Steve when he asks. She has grown to like this project a lot herself and resolves to, for once, follow Tony's instruction of keeping it confidential.

Till a need for it to be otherwise arises, of course.

*************

It all comes to a head with Wanda. Tony should have been more careful, he knows that, but he was riding on a high of success till now. He didn't pause to think that things might go wrong.

Which was when it went completely wrong.

One minute he was trying to get her to stop harming herself in her sleep, struggling to keep his voice calm despite watching the red sparks swirling up and choking herself. He had almost managed to break through her highest level of panic and had just heard Friday call for additional help to Steve, when it happened.

Tony couldn't block the surge of energy even if he had been alert. He watched, in a span of seconds, as the red sparks from Wanda's hands diverted direction and flung themselves at him, pushing him back. He had just enough time to shout out one command, knowing that if this energy got out of this room, many people would be hurt.

"Friday, lock the door! Override CAPSMASH!" he wheezed just before his body hit the wardrobe and his head hit hard against the surface. He knew he was bleeding, he could feel it in the back of his head, but his entire energy was focused on Wanda, who was still struggling in her sleep.

"Wanda? Kiddo, please," he had no shame in begging now, not as he watched her scream and sob with her eyes clenched shut, "You're fine, I promise, I promise you're fine! Honey, kiddo please! Wanda!"

He didn't know how long he begged or how long it took before Steve had realized that the door was locked and overriden against him and the Hulk. 

"WANDA!" he screamed one last time, one last attempt and saw as she abruptly opened her eyes, sitting up straight in shock, "Hey, hey kiddo, it's okay, it's all fine, you're okay."

Wanda shuddered once and blinked till her eyes focused on Tony. And then she looked horrified.

"No!" she breathed out in terror and Tony desperately wanted her to stop panicking, to stop worrying because he  _knew_ that she couldn't control her powers if she did, "Tony? Oh God! Tony, what - I didn't - how -"

"It's okay, you're okay, I promise," Tony was slurring by now, his head injury combined with the after-effects of the energy push making him feel blurry, "No nightmares...I promise...all okay...protect you..."

The last thing he remembered was Wanda's sharp shouts and then an order that came in Steve's voice. He thought he saw Clint's face loom over him but then his eyes shut and he wondered if this is how success felt like.

**********

Steve stares at the white wall outside the medical room. His brain refuses to stop thinking and his heart refuses to start beating normally.

"He'll be fine, Steve," Pepper offers for the millionth time, standing over him and sharing a look with a tense looking Natasha, "He'll pull through."

"He's trapped in his own head," Clint snarls from across, sitting stiffly on the blue chair and glaring back at Natasha when she shoots him a look, "He's  _trapped_ , Pepper. How is he going to pull through? Hey, Nat, wanna try cognitive re-calibration with him?"

"Clint, don't," Sam warns from beside Steve and turns to the super-soldier, "Steve, come on, you've got to get up and actually talk to people. You can't do anything productive like this."

Steve doesn't reply, can't reply. His words are gone. He can't find a sentence that isn't  _I didn't see it before_ or  _I hurt him_. He cannot stop hearing Friday's stilted words in his ears. He had almost crushed Tony. Crushed him. In his sleep. And then hadn't noticed anything at all.

The fear, the sheer dread of what could have happened lies heavy in his gut. And now something worse had happened. His eyes move to the side and he can see Wanda huddled between Pietro and Vision, both of them murmuring reassurances to her. It's of no use, he knows that. He knows what guilt feels like.

God, he thought to himself with a shudder, Tony was trapped in his mind. The energy of Wanda's nightmare had locked itself into Tony's head in the end and was now preventing him from waking up.

"He tried to help me," Steve muttered, knowing how hoarse his voice sounded, "He tried to help us in our nightmares. And now...God!" The hysterical laugh that spills out of Steve's mouth gets the attention of Wanda, who peeks out from between Pietro and Vision but doesn't do anything more.

"Steve, stop it," Natasha said sharply and crouched to meet his eyes, "He's counting on us to stay strong. For whatever he's going to come out of. Don't fall apart, he deserves more than that."

Steve knows what she means. Out of all of them, probably except Bucky, Tony's mind has got to be the worst place to be stuck in. His issues have issues and his guilt is stronger than Vibranium. They had gotten Dr. Strange's help after Wanda had found out the problem. She couldn't get it out without damaging Tony and nobody was going to take that risk yet. 

"You're right," Steve said with a deep breath, pulling in his terror, "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm fine. I should - I should go talk to Stephen to get something solid."

Sam nods but doesn't follow Steve, sticking to sit beside Bucky who was shaken up by the concept himself and had gone deathly quiet.

"I hate him," Bucky muttered about Tony and Rhodey laughed humorlessly from beside Pepper.

"Don't tell him that. He'll believe you," the Colonel said and returned Bucky's cold stare with a firm one of his own. Bucky took a deep breath and looked away, going back to staring at his hands.

When Steve comes back from meeting Stephen, he says that Tony will be kept under observation for another 12 hours before they try anything drastic. Bruce has to leave the place before he reacts sharply and wrongly blames Wanda. Natasha hums an old lullaby under her breath and all of them continue sitting, listening to Wanda's soft hiccups and Natasha's hums.

Tony doesn't wake up.

********

Eleven and a half hours later, Steve feels stronger and everybody else looks weaker. Wanda is calmer now but Steve catches her staring through the window at Tony's sleeping form blankly, like she was trying to commit something to memory.

"I want to try again," she announced fifteen minutes later to the group calmly.

Pietro, Clint, Bucky refuse it immediately, telling her not to take the risk. Natasha stares at her like she is figuring out something. Pepper and Rhodey look horrified and are seconds away from telling her to leave. Vision is simply standing by her side. Steve looks at her calmly for a minute before turning to Bruce. He trusts Bruce right now. If Tony had been awake and Steve in his place, the genius would have trusted Bruce too.

Bruce doesn't disappoint. He also surprises everyone.

"Okay," he says calmly, looking straight at Wanda before adding, "But Steve and Vision will be there with you. For both of yours' protection."

Wanda doesn't react but nods in acceptance. Steve leaves Natasha and Sam to handle the others before going in with Wanda and Vision. Steve silently takes in the placid body of his lover on the bed, memorizing every detail he can. He wants to be angry at Tony for risking this but right now, with the situation they are in, he knows that he cannot do that. Nothing is going to be worse for Tony than his own mind. He steels himself for the consequences and gives Wanda a nod.

The girl breathes in deeply before raising her hands.

Steve watches as beautiful and dangerous red lines flow out of her hands and curl around Tony's head. He hears Wanda's muted gasp of struggle but Vision holds her up, offering his silent strength as she keeps her focus. 

Steve doesn't know how long it lasts. He is lost between moments and red and Tony. Maybe it is a couple of minutes, maybe it's hours, but he simply watches and waits. He trusts Wanda. He trusts Vision. He trusts himself. Above all, he holds on to his trust of Tony. 

"Don't leave me alone," he whispers under his breath.

Tony doesn't disappoint. With a shuddering gasp, like a drowning man resurfacing, he comes back and opens his eyes. Steve feels like his entire world resumes rotating again. He hears Wanda mutter a relieved "Thank God" but all he really has ears for is one word, in one voice.

"Steve?"

Steve doesn't stop himself from walking forward and swallowing that word from the trembling man who had come back to him. The man he loved, lost and found again. 

********

Tony sleeps through exhaustion for two hours before he wakes back up again and finds Steve sitting beside him, reading something on a tablet. When Steve looks up, he simply turns the tablet over and shows Tony the files of Project Phobetor. Tony's eyes widen for a second before he looks back at Steve, expecting anger and disappointment.

"I love you," Steve says instead and leans over to kiss the surprise off Tony's lips.

"Me too," Tony manages to reply after a few seconds and Steve smiles, nodding before calmly getting back to the tablet. Tony wonders if his morphine dose is way too high.

He doesn't say anything loud though. He likes this calm.

He is allowed to get back to the Tower after two whole days and Tony is honestly expecting an extreme reaction. He waits for it as Rhodey accompanies Steve to pick him up. He waits for it as they pick up Pepper on the way. He waits for it as they enter the Tower and Natasha joins them in the elevator. He waits for it when they enter the common floor and he finds Bruce and Sam eating breakfast while Bucky and Vision are watching TV. He waits for it when Clint, Pietro and Thor, who God knows when came back from Asgard, enter the floor and go about sitting on the couch, demanding Bucky to let them play Wii. He waits for it when Wanda comes in from her floor, pausing a bit and nodding at Tony, before going over to the kitchen and snagging a bit of toast for herself.

He waits for it as everything goes about normal. Nobody says anything.

"Welcome back, Tony," Thor says finally, grinning widely at Tony from his spot on the couch.

"Thanks, bug guy," Tony replies automatically and watches as Thor nods to himself before going back to arguing with Bucky for Wii controls.

Pepper and Rhodey say something about wanting to talk to Nat and Sam, and walk away to seat themselves on the high-chairs of the kitchen counter. Tony gapes at all of them and does not stop Steve when the Captain gently steers him to the elevator again, taking him up to his room.

He enters the bedroom and takes in its familiarity. 

"You wanna shower?" Steve asks, already moving towards the bathroom, "You'll feel fresh. We can go catch breakfast after that?"

Tony can't reply, doesn't have words and simply stares in the direction of the bathroom. Steve comes out after a minute, frowning in concern.

"Tony? You wanna shower?" he asks again and Tony opens his mouth but no sound comes. He shuts it and then tries again.

"Why're you not angry?" he blurts out, "Why is everybody being so calm? What's going on? Am I - this is real, right?"

Steve's expression shifts to a painful one for a second before he relaxes and comes closer. He smiles down at Tony and slowly cups his cheeks.

"It's real. It's all real," he says quietly and shakes his head at Tony's frown, "We're not angry. We were before...but we're not angry now."

"But why?" Tony asks again desperately because he is still waiting for it dammit.

"Because you're okay," Steve says simply, like that is the only thing that matters and continues when Tony tries to argue, "Now, you wanna shower? I'm kind of in need of one too."

Tony thinks about arguing some more but then simply shrugs and lets Steve take him to the bathroom. They shower together and Steve finds every excuse to kiss Tony all over till Tony takes the hint and finds himself reciprocating. Tony lets himself lean back against the tiled wall and keeps his eyes open as Steve proves that this is real. Nobody else, no fantasy or dream would know Tony's body and soul like Steve did. Nobody would be able to take him apart so gently and put him back together with such patience like Steve did. Tony finds it liberating to cry out Steve's name when he finally lets go and believes that this is real. Steve is real. Tony is real.

They are both alive, together and real.

When they finally dress up and come down for breakfast, Tony tentatively smiles at Bruce who passes him his coffee. Bruce seems to have no hesitation in returning the smile and simply nodded. He doesn't get any questions throughout breakfast and finds himself feeling a bit more confident when he answers Bucky's questions about nanites.

**********

It is only when Tony gets a chance to go back to his workshop that he understands it. When he gets Friday to open up the Project's files one last time, he has to blink several times to see his own name added in the end.

_First attempt - Unsuccessful_

_Problem - Lack Of Communication_

_Solution - Family_

_Notes: Thanks for caring, you idiot. We care about you too. - Clint + Pietro_

_Don't be a dumbass again. Stevie will kill us all - Bucky_

_I don't owe you coffee anymore. Consider my silence a repayment. Thanks. - Bruce_

_Pain of death, Tony. You need more dance lessons too. - Natasha_

_I have access to Friday - Vision_

_I'll sic Redwing on you the next time. He's a terror if he wants to be. And drink your milk. - Sam_

_If you ever try that again, I will steal all your coffee and dump them in the disposal.  - Wanda_

_I would like a pillow for Mjolnir, if you are interested. Steven tells me to say I love you. I am not sure, Anthony. - Thor_

_I love hugs but I love you more - Steve_

Tony doesn't know when his eyes turned wet but then he hears Friday speak

"To add my two cents, Boss : Don't become my nightmare again," the AI says primly and Tony starts laughing. 

He might have broken dreams and complicated methods of achieving them, but as long as he had his family, he could make beautiful patterned mosaics out of them. Tony laughed again, shut down the files and went up, back to his team.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE AVENGERS FAMILY! Sigh! Feedback will always be loved <3


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